Idiotic Deeds
by Birdiaction
Summary: FINISHED! Samara has broken her mom's necklace and is totally desperate to fix it...maybe a little too desperate. Not as funny as my other story, but still funny I guess. Please R&R.
1. Troublemaker

**ITIOTIC DEEDS**

**--CHAPTER 1--**

Samara jumped up and down on her bed, singing along to her new Green Day CD, which was playing full blast. Well, she was kind of singing along. See, she kind of didn't know all the words.

"HMMM...BLAH BLAH...THE REST OF OUR LIVES...ON--"

"SAMARA!" Richard Morgan yelled as he opened the door and walked into Samara's room.

Samara turned off her CD player. "No, that's not how it goes," she informed her father. "It goes 'on holiday,' not 'on Samara.' That doesn't even sound right, if you know what I mean--"

"--SAMARA! It is one o' clock in the morning, and us normal people are trying to sleep!" her father yelled. "Now go find something a little less noisy to do, will you?"

Samara pouted. "Fine, you stick in the sand. But when I'm rich and famous for having the most beautiful hair in the world, you'll be sorry."

"Just stay out of trouble for once in your pathetic messed up life?" Richard said, and he left Samara's room.

"...He's gone," Samara whispered. "I can do anything I want. I can kill horses. I can make pictures with my mind. I can clog the toilet with left over turkey."

Slowly and quietly, Samara tiptoed out of her room and down the hall towards the kitchen. Once she was there, she opened the fridge. "Let's see. Nope. Nothing good here." As Samara shut the fridge, she noticed some small containers on top of it. They were medicine containers. Samara reached up and grabbed them.

"Zytorin, anti-depression...COOL!" Samara opened the "kid safe" container and stuffed some pills in her mouth. Seconds later she was spitting them on the ground. "BLAH! How does she eat this stuff?" Samara said, gagging. "The character on the comercial didn't look like he was going to barf when he took this."

Samara looked at the other containers. There were a couple more of her mom's stuff, and...

"...Weight loss pills?" Samara opened the weight loss container and popped two pills in her mouth. "Hmmm...not as bad as the depression stuff. But I can see why dad lies about taking these."

Once Samara had returned the medicine containers to the top of the fridge, she decided to go look for something to do in her parents' room.

Samara walked down the hall and up the stairs to their bedroom door and opened it very carefully. It creaked a little, but Richard was snoring so loudly that it could hardly be noticed. Both of Samara's parents were sleeping soundly, and so she decided it was safe to have a look around.

First she checked out the closet. There wasn't much to see. Just some old boxes, cobwebs, and, obviously, clothes. Plus it didn't smell to great in there. Next Samara looked under the bed. It was pretty boaring, too. There wasn't anything under it except a stale apple core.

Last Samara decided to check out the dresser. On top of it were all kinds of neat things. There were little clay figurines, all sorts of neat pens, a whole lot of weird coins, and...

"Woah," Samara whispered. "Mom's necklace."

It was sitting right there. Right there in the middle of all the coins and figurines. Like it was just begging Samara to grab it. Like it were saying, "Samara! Take me! Pick me up! SAMARA!" But Samara knew how much trouble she'd be in if her mom found out she took it. That was her favorite necklace. She was always wearing it. But, Samara thought, how would she ever possibly know? It'd be back before she even gets up!

"No," Samara whispered. "No. I'm not gonna take it...no...no, I--I won't...I...okay, maybe just for a second!" Samara grabbed the necklace and stared at the glimmering black jewel in the center. Then she put it around her neck. "It's soooo pretty!" Samara yelled.

Samara's parents started to move. Samara clasped a hand over her mouth. "Oops," she whispered. Luckily, neither of her parents woke up. So Samara tiptoed out of their room.

Once she was out Samara seated herself in the hall. "Hello, little necklace! What sort of fun things should we do? I know...I'll make prank phone calls--wearing the necklace! Then I'll play video games--wearing the necklace! And then I'll eat cake--WEARING THE NECKLACE! Oh this is going to be so great--"

Just then Samara heard noises coming from her parents' room, followed by muffled voices.

"Richard, did you hear something?" Samara heard her mother ask.

"Shut up and go to sleep," Richard answered dully.

"But I'm sure I heard something. I'm going to go investigate."

Samara's eyebrows shot up. "Oh no! What if she sees me wearing her precious necklace? I've got to hide!"

Samara ran into the bathroom and into the bathtub. "She'll never find me in here!" Samara whispered. "She knows I hate water!" Samara listened for her mother's foot steps. She heard her walking down the hall and down the stairs. A few minutes later, Anna came back up the stairs and went back into her bedroom.

"Yesssss!" Samara whispered. "Now I can get out of here and have fun with the pretty necklace." But, as Samara ran to get out, she slipped on the floor of the bathtub and fell right on her head. "Owwww..." Samara groaned. "It's a good thing I didn't crack my head opened, or Mom would find my dead corpse wearing her necklace! Wait...the necklace! Where did it--"

Samara froze. There, on the floor of the bathtub, was her mom's necklace. But there was no black jewel in the middle. The jewel had cracked into a million tiny peices, which were now scattered all over the bathtub. Which meant no prank phone calls. No video games. No cake. And probably no leaving the house for the rest of her life.

**Don't miss more of Samara's idiotic deeds in chapter two!**

**And please review. Unless you hated it and you're going to start screaming your head off at me. ;)**


	2. Evelyn's Plan

IdIoTiC dEeDs

ChApTeR tWo

Samara stood there with her mouth hanging open. It was broken. The precious necklace was BROKEN.

"No...no..." Samara murmured. "I'm dreaming. Yeah. I must be. Wait a minute--I can't dream. Then I'm hallucinating. Yeah, that's it. I inherited some bad blood from Evelyn. Yes." So Samara grabbed the broken necklace by the chain and scrambled out of the bathtub. "And I'll prove it, too. I'll have someone else look at this necklace, and they'll tell me it's not broken, and..."

Samara quietly tiptoed down the creaky old stairs and out the front door. Then she ran off the porch, across the lawn, throught the gates, and down the road to Dr. Grasnik's house. There she found Darby sitting in the middle of the lawn biting on some grass.

"Darby!" Samara cried, running up to him. "Tell me what you see here!" She held up the necklace.

Darby looked up. One of his eyes was half-closed. "Cow."

"No, Darby," Samara said very slowly and clearly. "Not cow."

Darby wrinkled his forhead. "Not cow?"

"No. Not cow."

"Not cow..."

"Darby, what are you even doing out here this late?" Samara said, losing her slow and patient tone.

Darby spit out some of the grass he was chewing on. "This late? Cow?"

"AARGH! I'm wasting my time." Samara walked away from Darby and towards the house. She walked up to the door and started banging on it. When there was no answer, Samara started screaching. Finally the door opened and Dr. Grasnik appeared, looking very tired and angry.

"Samara, what is it this time?" she asked drearily.

Samara once again held up her mom's necklace. "Tell me what you see here."

Dr. Grasnik raised one eyebrow at Samara and then said, "A necklace?"

Samara nodded. "Yes, and what color is the jewel in the middle?"

Dr. Grasnik squinted. "What jewel? Samara--"

"YOU MEAN YOU DON'T SEE A JEWEL?" Samara hollered.

Dr. Grasnik muttered something like, You're mother must really be crazy to have adopted you. Then she said, "Samara, if this is a joke, it's not funny--"

But Samara was already running down the road, her dress flying up and hot pink Fruit of the Looms showing underneath.

When she got back to the house, Samara really started to panic. She began to pace the front porch. "Wow..." she murmured. "I guess I'm really not as crazy as Evelyn. Wait..." Samara said, her face lighting up, "...Evelyn! If anyone can come up with a brilliant scheme, it's her!" Samara flung the door open and raced inside the house.

Evelyn was sitting at her little desk in the hospital cutting up newspaper clippings as usual when one of the nurses entered her room. This particular nurse was very fat and had a rather hairy mole on her left cheek. She was holding a portable phone.

"Evelyn, there's someone on the phone for you," the nurse said. It was obvious that she was trying to sound kind and gentle but all it sounded like was grunting. Evelyn turned around in her chair to glare at the nurse.

"Look, Midge, I'm kinda buzy!" she hollered. "Who is it?"

"Well, I don't know, but whoever it is sounds like they really need to talk to you," replied Midge the nurse.

Evelyn sighed and got up to grab the phone, still holding her sissors. Once she had snatched the phone out of Midge's hands she jabbed Midge violently with her sissors and pushed her out of the room.

"Who is it?" Evelyn said sweetly into the phone.

"Evelynthenecklaceitbrokeandyouhavetohelpme!" said a very angry voice.

"Samara?" Evelyn said. "Is that you?"

"Well who the heck else would call YOU?" Samara hissed impatiently.

"What on earth do you want at this time of night?"

"It's my mom's necklace. It broke."

"My necklace broke?"

"NO MY OTHER MOM YOU IDIOT!" yelled Samara.

Evelyn glared at the phone as if it had been the one to have just called her an idiot. Then she said, "Well what do you expect me to do about it?"

"C'mon, you smar'! Figure somepin' ow!" Samara said, obviously chewing on something. "Heck, you almos' suctheded at dwowning me suwounded by a whole buncha nuns!"

Evelyn couldn't help but smile. It was true that she had a very evil, clever mind. "Well...alright, alright, here's an idea-" Evelyn heard Samara swallow whatever she was eating, "-why don't you just make it look like somebody else did it? Ya know, put your dad's stuff all aroud the crime scene or something. Then you'll be off the hook, and your idiot father will get blamed."

"OMIGOSH THANK YOU SO MUCH!"

And Samara hung up.

It was three o' clock in the morning. Samara was quietly opening the door to her parents' room and entering, not making a sound. Just as carefully, she tiptoed over to the dresser where she had found the necklace in the first place. Niether of her parents were moving. The only sound in the room came from Samara's dangerously obese father; he was snoring and drooling all over the place.

Okay, Samara thought, I gotta make this convincing. She carefully placed Anna's necklace in the exact spot that she had found it in. Then she looked around for some of her dad's stuff to set up around the crime scene, as Evelyn had instructed. First she looked under the bed. There she found half of a turkey sandwich and a pair of her dad's underwear, which appeared to have been used. Then she searched the closet. Samara found her dad's ugly old hat and a five dollar bill, which she put in her pocket.

After searching in a few more places, Samara's arms were completally full of her dad's stuff. Since she couldn't carry anything else, she walked back over to the dresser and dumped all the stuff on top of the necklace so that there was a big mound of dirty old stuff that practically reached the ceiling.

"Perfect," Samara whispered. And then she went off to listen to her Green Day CD again.

Will Evelyn's plan work? Or has Samara goofed it up? Find out in the final chapter of Idiot Deeds.


	3. Lies

i d i o t i c d e e d s p a r t t h r e e

Finally morning came. Samara, who had entertained herself the rest of the night by tearing off her dolls' heads and sticking them in the toilet, ran into the hall and right outside her parents' bedroom door. She heard the floor creak as her mom and dad slowly climbed out of bed. Samara pressed her ear against the door, listening for the tinyest little sound that might indicate that the pile of clothes she had placed on the dresser had been noticed. Like maybe a scream, or a slapping noise, or--

"SAMARA!"

"Huh?" Samara said. Had she heard incorrectly?

The bedroom door was pulled open and Samara fell into the room. Her mother towered over her with a big frown on her face.

"WHY?" she yelled. "WHY ON EARTH WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING?"

"What are you talking about?" Samara said innocently, peeking her head into the bedroom. "Those are dad's clothes!"

"That's what I'm talking about!" Anna said. "Why did you pile his clothes on the dresser!"

Samara's mouth dropped open. She just stared at her mother.

"You mean to tell me that you think I--"

"YES, I THINK YOU DID IT!" Anna hollered. "What reason could your father possibly have for doing that?"

Samara thought for a moment. Then she said, "Maybe he was trying to cover up something BAD he did."

Anna raised one eyebrow. "Explain," she said dully.

"Well," Samara began, "suppose my dear old father happened to have accidentally damaged a personal belonging of yours. Wouldn't he want to cover it up so you wouldn't notice?"

For a minute Anna said nothing. Then she said, "What did you do?"

"NOTHING!" Samara screached. But it was too late. Anna walked over to the heap of clothes and shoved it all off.

There was a clinking sound. Anna looked down at the ground. The broken necklace had fallen to the floor with the heap of clothes.

Anna just stared down at the necklace. She just stared. Samara stood there, frozen with fear, her eyes squeezed shut. Trying to prepare herself for the explosion.

But it never came.

Anna knelt down and took the necklace in her hands. Then she wimpered, "Oh, what have I done? I didn't trust you, Samara, and because of that I've broken my favorite necklace. I'm so sorry."

Samara opened her eyes. "Wh-what did you say?"

Anna looked up at her. "I said I was sorry. For not trusting you."

So her mom thought that she had broken it right then and there? For a moment, Samara felt like she should tell the truth and admit her wrongdoings. But only for a moment.

"Yes, well, it might take me a while to forgive you..." Samara said mournfully. "You really did damage my emotional well-being. I am very sensitive, you know..."

"I have an idea," said Anna. "To make up for it, I'll take you to Toys R' Us and get you any toy you want. How does that sound?"

Samara almost forgot to pretend to be sad. "That's great!...I mean, I suppose that would heal my poor little heart..."

"And as for you," Anna said, turning to Richard. "Samara was probably right! You've never liked my necklace, and I'll bet you put those clothes there so I'd forget to wear it! Well you can forget about desert tonight! And for the next week!"

Richard glared at Samara.

"Hear that, Tubby?" Samara said. "Maybe now you'll lose some weight!"

While Richard and Samara were downstairs eating breakfast, Anna went to have a shower. But after a minute she came back downstairs and said, "Would anyone like to tell me why there were shards of black glass lying in the bathtub?"

Samara went to call Evelyn.

THE END

Sorry the ending was so short, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Sorry if it sucked. I kind of rushed on it.


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